A day with Didi

Didi’ s real name is Kalpana, which means imagination. I know, all Nepalese have so beautiful names! At the office she is the one cleaning, cooking, serving beverages, always with a beautiful smile. I thought I would show you what her day is like.

Kalpana wakes up at 5 am. After bathing she cleans her house. And makes morning rituals by worshipping all the Hindu gods and goddesses. It is also a morning ritual for her to put the tika, the red dot, on her forehead, which tells that she is a married woman. Her parents arranged her marriage 18 years ago. Though love marriages have become popular nowadays, especially in the cities, arranged marriages are an option as well. Nepalese believe, that parents might be better in choosing a spouse for you, because of their life experience. Divorces are rare, and bit of a taboo.

Before Kalpana leaves to do some fieldwork, she makes tea for her family. She has one son and three daughters. Her son, the eldest, is seventeen-years-old and on his ninth grade. Her two daughters, aged seven and fourteen go also to school, but youngest is only four, so she stays at home. Kalpanas husband doesn’t have a job, so he looks after the youngest daughter during the day. Sometimes he might work at someone else’s field earning a bit of money. But most of the time he doesn’t do anything, because the community is quite old fashioned and thinks it’s the woman’s job to do the housework and work on the field.

Kalpana returns from the field around 8 am to prepare food for the family. After this she leaves for the office. Work starts at 9.30. She has been working for Loo Niva for almost a year now. She got to know Loo Niva and Loo Niva her because her son is one of the sponsor children of Loo Niva. Two of our office workers, Gyan and Krishna, visited her house and learned about her life. Short time after this Loo Niva needed a didi for the office and thought of Kalpana. She cried of joy when she heard the news and is very grateful and proud of her job. It is also a very important add to her family’s income.

At the office, she starts her day by cleaning. She dusts the desks, gets newspapers for us to read, and cleans the floor and yard. If I have left my desk in a messy state, when I left from work, my papers are in a nice pile when I come back. She goes around asking what would we like to drink: coffee, juice, tea, always with a smile on her face. Sometimes she comes to our room for a small chitchat, unfortunately we don’t have a joint language, and so I can only communicate with her through others. I would love to understand what she has to say! And then she cooks our lunch, noodles, beaten rice with sauce, roti-bread with sauce – depending on the day. And I think she is an excellent cook, I’m always waiting forward for the time of the day when she comes to my room saying “khaja khane”, meaning lunch.

Kalpana doesn’t eat with us. But serves us our lunch and is eager to put a bit of extra on our plates, so we surely have our bellies full. Sometimes she is sneaky about it and puts an extra portion on your plate when you are not looking, getting people to cry out “pugnu” – “it’s enough”! After we have finished she takes her lunch and cleans all the dishes. Then she serves us drinks again and it’s almost her time to go home, because it’s 3.30 pm.

At home she might clean again or do the dishes, if her daughter hasn’t had the time to do so. She also has to cut some grass for the cow.  And of course she needs to prepare dinner for her family. She doesn’t have a stove, so everything is made on the fire, which means that she also spends a lot of time collecting firewood. To make life a bit easier she buys some electricity from her neighbor, because there is no direct line of electricity to her house. The house is very simple one, with only one room, but they are thinking building other rooms for it as well. But there have been problems; her father-in-law owns the land the house is on, so her husband and brother-in-laws have a disagreement whether her family has the right to live there. This year also a storm took the roof of her house, but luckily some of her neighbors helped her and took her family in for a while.

When I try to ask what she does on her free time, she doesn’t understand the question. But she tells me, that during weekends, when she is not working at the office, she might work on some neighbor’s field, to earn a bit of extra money. It seems, that free time, just to kick back and lay around, doesn’t exist as such to this brave and positive 36-year-old woman.  

Things that on my bad days irritate me and some on the good ones humor me

Me first!

This applies in many places, for example in the que in the store almost every time someone at least tries to cut in line. Some times, if I’m in good mood, I just take step back and think well I wasn’t in hurry anyway, other times- oh if looks could kill..

It applies also in the traffic. In a traffic jam there is sure to be few cars and motorbikes who think they have the right and the hurry to drive past all others and try to be the first ones to get through the jam. I don’t even need to tell you what does this means to the driving culture, the traffic jams etc..

In buses not much hope for the elderly to be able to sit. It’s rare when I witness someone giving their seat to others. It’s also very hard to make way to others in the bus; you will not move from your seat even if next to you would be a free seat, if someone wants it, they have to crawl over you.

No, a penis doesn’t define me! In my opinion anyway.

When meeting new people, for example strangers on the bus, they usually want to know what are you doing in Nepal. After this they move to more important things:

-          Do you have a husband?

-          No.

-          Well do you have a brother?

-          No, if you don’t consider my parent’s dog as such… But I do have a human sister. (But this is not interesting to them.)

-          What do your parents do? (Which actually means, what is your fathers occupation.)

 

I do find it frustrating how for example my own education doesn’t seem to define me, but the ideas of the men in my life does. But in all fairness, not all people ask these questions. And I’m known to complain about a similar thing in Finland, where one of the most important thing to know about a person, especially a woman, seems to be weather she is in a relationship or not… 

You’re white so you must have big pockets!

I don’t like to go to any shops without fixed prices, because of my skin color and lack of language skills I’m usually asked a double or even triple price of things.  The idea seems to be, that because you are a westerner you must have money. Which in a way is understandable, because the prizes here are low for a tourist, even if they would be charged a bit extra. But I find this idea of all westerner looking people frustrating, because not all of us have money and I’m tired of bargaining. I just hope that the extra prices I’ve paid have gone to supporting a family and not to something in vain.

The world is my garbage bin!

One can through their rubbish everywhere, beside the street, out of a car and what does recycling mean anyway?

Hey, lets get hit by a car!

People drive on the different side than Finland here, which is not a problem. Also on the side walks (where you can find one) it is usual walk on the left side, which is not a problem. But when you are walking beside the car road it is also preferable to walk on the left, which means that the passing cars come behind you and you don’t see them, so you can’t for example jump out of the way… Though my friend gave a good explanation for this: if you could see what is approaching you – all the interesting passes, the speeding etc – you would be too scared to walk at all…

Didn’t you mama tell you it’s rude to stare!

Yes, I’m not Nepalese it is quite clear, so how long do you have to stare. In my experience, usually half of the twenty minutes bus ride is enough. Also another fun thing is to check what I put in my basket in the supermarket!

 You dog!

Lots of stray dogs around here. I love dogs and love to have them around me, but I don’t love the condition of many of them: injured, malnourished, sick dogs.. And then people take it to their right to beat and through rocks and these creatures. In a way understandable, especially because rabies is a problem here, I also would probably defend myself with a rock against a raving dog. 

And just to be clear- this list tells more about my culture and me than about Nepal. It tells where my socialization is different than the one over here. And it’s not a list about things that are wrong or worse than in Finland, it’s a small list about differences.

And see how much goes on the buses!

Other things in short:

I moved to another room, one floor down. Now I have twice the space, a hot shower in the same floor and no more bugs! Well not the same ones at least..

I also got an Internet connection to my room!! Though it doesn’t work during power cuts, and sometimes after them, because the modem is in someone else’s flat, I can’t go and reboot it if there is a problem. But when it does work: an Internet connection at home, a luxury I would not have believed to come true! Woohoo!

Two of my co-workers visited Interpedia in Finland. I hear they had a great trip! At the office we have already amazed the cleanliness of Finland: no rubbish on the train trails and bathrooms are so clean you could sleep in one. Though the Finnish food didn’t impress, it doesn’t taste like anything- where’s the chili and add salt at least! And my co-workers couldn’t miss the Finnish silence; people are so silent in the metros and where is the chitchat? They also had a program with the sociology students at Helsinki University, which also went very well in the opinion of my co-workers and my friends at the university. 

And I must tell you about the concert me and my friend went: Jazzmando at the Patan museum. A night with western jazz infused with traditional Nepalese music (or the other way around), also musical quests from Africa and South-America. Was a great night, listening to music outdoors in the historical venue in the darkening night. A power cut even made the atmosphere better: suddenly lights go out, but the musician don’t mind and continue in the darkness giving their best. After maybe five minutes the backup generator turns the lights back on and show continues.   

And the winter time is beginning. Though during the day it might be warm, if the sun is shining, evenings and nights are starting to be quite chilly. And the darkness comes earlier, already at six..

Over the hills and far away

The Dashain festival gave my friend and me the time to go trekking to Annapurna conservation area for five days. Because of the limited time we didn’t have the chance to trek a very long route, so we decided with help from my co-worker the following way: Nayapul – Hille – Ghorepani and Poon Hill – Tadapani – New Bridge – Nayapul. Though the loop from Tadapani to New Bridge was decided on the route.

So what would you like to hear? About the sweat, the never ending stairs, the five am wake ups, the slimy leeches, the muscle aches, the rains in the afternoon, or perhaps about the moon stones, or the flirting porters (and no we didin’t have a porter or a sherpa, we wanted to carry our own stuff and find our own way).. 

Well here is something to share with you: one day the rain started earlier and we were exhausted by the altitude differences, the ups and downs, of that day. We were so happy to get to Tadapani and change to dry and warm clothes and just lay on the bed easing our tired muscles. That day we had descended for hours and then climbed the stairs back up again in a pouring rain. Though the coming up had been almost fun, because there where some porters climbing with us and cheering us up. After a bit of rest we went outside, where the darkness had already descended. The air was crisp and clear; no clouds in the sky so the stars had come out, and the almost full moon was so bright.  There in the light of the stars and the moon in front of us stood the snow peaks, so glorious and beautiful against the navy blue sky.  The sight made it feel as though the time had stopped and you were staring to eternity. The aching muscles, the tiredness and the cold were all forgotten.    

The whole trip was filled with these beautiful sceneries. It’s amazing how the nature around you changed from stony hills, to rain forests with small waterfalls, to fields, to northern scenery and all the time the tall mountains were staring down on you. But I must say it is rough, especially when your time line is limited, but you still want to see as much as you can. It’s all the time going up, descending and up again, with breaks of only few minutes to get your heart beat into a tolerable level. But it’s worth it for the scenery, but also for the feeling of outdoing yourself. Even though the monsoon time brings out the leeches in the forests and in some areas, mainly on the Jomsom route, there were so many tourists! Herds of Chinese walking in line. But then again it’s fun sometimes to chat with the other trekkers, but I do recommend try to avoid the trekking season, which hadn’t even started yet!

And no, there was not really moon stones, but a lot of shining silvery stones, because of some minerals. And the porters and sherpas, well many of them are great, know a lot and are social. But at the same time some of them are interpreting the western culture through their own culture and sadly through the Hollywood movies. So the western culture and two alone travelling unmarried women can come off in a bit distorted way. The route was fairly simple, so we didn’t really need a sherpa, though we got a bit lost twice. But I would recommend a guide if you stray from the most travelled parts – the maps we could find weren’t very detailed. 

I can’t share with you all the beautiful scenaries, the funny moments, or the exhausting ones… I can just say that I would most definitely do it again, and I hope I have a chance to return to the area sometime in the future. Though the tourist area of Pokhara makes me want to think twice, but luckily you can try to escape the tourist atmosphere to the hills.  

Celebrating Jatra at Khokana

Many Nepalese have told me, that I am very lucky to be able to witness the Dashain festival, which is the biggest Hindu festival of the year. Dashain celebrates the triumph of good over evil. It is especially the festival of mother goddess Durgha, to whom thousands of animals are sacrificed during the festival. I didn’t actually celebrate Dashain, but I was honored to be invited to the village of Khokana, to celebrate Newari’s Jatra.  Jatra is also a religious festival celebrated by the Newaris, which lasts for three days.

The whole village was in festival mood: people laughing, music playing and different kind of happenings around the village. On the first night, in the villages square there was set up a stage, where young people performed songs and dances. These weren’t very traditional ones, but more like performances which one could witness in any European country. I was quite surprised about the bold nature of many of the dances. Not that I would have found them too outrageous, but this is a country where for example public displays of affections between a man and a woman are frowned upon. And I was very pleased to see young men performing some dances. Also later on it was mainly the young men that might start a dance on the streets. The boys are more encouraged to dance I was told.  

Some people stayed awake the whole night, we went to sleep at twelve, to be woken at three am, when the gods where meant to leave for the holy place called Sikali, a small hill 20 minutes walk from the village. An altar kind of thing, inside of which were statues symbolizing the gods, was carried around the central village three times, and after this it was carried to Sikali. After this smaller holy artifacts gathered from surrounding villages and temples to the villages center and were carried to Sikali as well. 

The next morning the villagers gathered to the field, where the holy artifacts had been taken. There was a small temple and the atmosphere was festive, a bit like a carnival or a fare. Many had new clothes on, salesmen where selling treats and people where chatting to friends and family. Then the mangods appeared: the moment people had came to witness. Mangods are specific men from the village, who are said to become the gods they represent during the ritual. They represent different gods, there are 14 of them in colorful clothes, jeweler, masks and wigs. I didn’t recognize them all, but there seemed to be the elephant headed Ganesh and his parents, Shiva and Parvati, and the monkey faced god. The mangods came through an isle formed by the spectators jumping with the assistance of some villagers. After this they performed a ritual dance.  During the ritual some boiled rice was thrown to the crowd, which people wanted to catch because eating this rice is said to bring good health. Along with the mangods travelled some holy men, dressed in white. Some of them carried a long horn and some other things. During all of this there where people playing the traditional Newari music, which meant a lot of percussion instruments.   

After this people returned to the village. Met friends and dined. We also had some Newari delicacies, with beaten rice of course. Beaten rice is flat and dry rice, it’s not boiled, but seems to be somewhat raw. With it are some meat and bean and lentil dishes. And I could also try the quite good home made rice beer, which has a sweet taste. When the evening came the mangods returned to the village and danced some more. After this we strolled around the village and also visited the Buddhist monastry of the village, where we were invited to have breakfast.

After the breakfast the next morning, the villagers had again gathered to wait fore the mangods in center of the village. Again we could hear the traditional music, and first came the holy men in white, then the mangods again jumping. People, mainly women, took some offerings to the holy men and to the mangods. The mangods made their way to the square of the village, where they would perform rituals and stories by dancing. We could for example see the story how Ganesh got his elephant head. After the dances was the time of the animal sacrifice. A bull was to be killed on the square and some of the gods would drink its blood. I couldn’t see much of this, because everybody gathered so tightly around the bull and the mangods. But a bull was killed, and the gods got their blood.

I fully enjoyed the Jatra and the atmosphere of the Khokana village. Eventhough I couldn’t understand the meaning of the rituals, it was interesting to watch and see how alive and how practical forms religion can take. On the other hand these kinds of rituals and traditions tell you how much of an outsider you are, cause everything is so unfamiliar and in a way meaningless to you, cause you are not socialized to the traditions. But as said I enjoyed the Jatra on many levels, even though I could only understand parts of it.