Wedding days

I was very happy to be invited to a wedding of my coworker and I thought I would share this happy occasion with you.

On the first day I put on my new kurta and headed with my friend on the side of Ringroad – road surrounding Kathmandu- to wait for a ride to the wedding. After a while of waiting came our ride, motorcycles riding ahead of the wedding car.  The wedding car was decorated typically, with small flowers glued all around the car and a bigger flower piece in the front. And then we waited. The groom can’t come out of the car before the family of the bride gets him, and blesses him with flowers and other traditional ways.

And then we waited for the ceremony to start. The day was busy with many weddings - in Nepal it is the priest who sets the date and there usually is many other weddings on the same date. On this date there was also the wedding of the bride’s brother. Eventually the ritual started in the yard of the temple. First someone did some rituals, by putting rice on the shoulders of the bride and touching her forehead, then she sat down next to the priest in front of a kind of wedding altar, where was situated many ceremonial things: cups and pots and other artifacts. Then game the groom, who went through the same kind of rituals before sitting down beside the bride, who was covered in bright red sari and veil, from beneath you could see beautifully make upped face and jewels on her henna tattooed hands. The groom's outfit is not as traditional; nowadays usually a western looking suit, but with the traditional hat.   

The priest talked and chanted something giving the couple things to apparently sacrifice to a bowl. They sacrificed some plants, nuts, money etc. At one point the couple’s heads where put together and at other times they rouse up and joined hands. All the time the perfume from an incense swirled in the air. Important moment was, when first the bride and then the groom placed garlands of grass looking things around each other’s necks. Also the bride got a necklace and a headset of flowers and they even exchanged rings. And in the end also a small ritual within the temple.

The groom was unlucky because the bride’s side won the small competition about his shoes- if the brides side is able to steal the grooms shoes when he takes them off before the ritual he has to pay to get them back. So after the wedding ritual there was a bargaining about the shoes, but eventually he got them back and we could move on to enjoy the wedding feast - first drinks and some snacks and then dhal bhat in a colorful wedding tent.    

The next day was more of the groom’s party. For this occasion I tried on a sari, which was a fun experience. The outfit has a blouse, or a top and a petticoat, then a large long fabric – the sari – is rapped around the waist, then around your chest and of course a decoration for the forehead and some bangles for the wrists. The sari leaves your side visible, but when you get around that fact the outfit is actually quite comfortable. Though sitting on a motorcycle needed more concentration, to be able to sit only sideways.

The party was near the village of Khokana. First we were again served drinks and snacks and then dhal bhat and yoghurt and fruits for desert. People were chatting happily with each other. The party had around 100 quests. The day before, there had been several hundred people: an average wedding on the first day has around 400 quests. On this day we could also give presents for the couple and the bride gave few nuts as a return gift, which one is supposed to take home for good luck.

On this occasion we could also hit the dance floor! Again it was more the males who danced, but with time more and more of the females entered the dance floor. Was fun to dance after a long time and I could also try some of the more traditional Nepalese dancing styles, but most of the time it was Venga Boys or something similar on the background. We had a blast and I feel privileged to be invited to a such an interesting and a happy occasion. 

Some training perhaps

Welcome to the training of primary school teachers. Today’s theme is Child Friendly School. Why are these trainings needed, you might think. Well, the requirements for a teacher’s education to be able to teach at primary level are not huge in Nepal. The teacher has to finish high school, after this there is a three weeks training from the government, which ends to an exam. Not all get the opportunity to go to this training; there are not enough trainings for everyone. If you haven’t gone or passed this training you can still teach, but you are not a permanent teacher. So the teachers don’t get a very large education on child development, teaching methods or on much anything really. This doesn’t mean that they wouldn’t be good teachers, I’m sure that they learn a lot in the job. But at the same time the culture and personal beliefs can affect their teaching. It is a widely known fact that corporal punishment is still used in schools, and one of the most used teaching method is repeating what the teacher says, and there is a lot of prejudice towards low cast members. Loo Niva wants to change the atmosphere of the society to a more child friendly direction, but also offer children a chance to finish their studies.  

The day starts with a ceremony, which introduces the trainers who are head teachers that have taken part in the training before. After this there is a game, where all of the participants, 28 of them, can introduce themselves. Then the day starts with child rights, the trainer goes through the idea of child rights, with information, practical examples and sometimes asking questions from the participants. This is an important issue, because in the culture children seem to be seen as something else that full humans. They are seen as little adults, with almost the same capacities, but less respect. The training tries to make the teachers see children as individuals, who have the same rights as adults and perhaps a bit more: they are the adults in making, and how we will treat them, will mold their thinking and them as a person. So it would seem that Loo Niva is changing the cultural picture of a child, towards something that is precious and to be protected and supported. Before the tea break we play a game.

The training is not like a lecture, where the trainer speaks and participants listen. But the day is full of speech, laughter, games, sharing ideas- kind of what the child friendly classroom should be like. The teachers are taught new methods, games that they can bring from the trainings to the classrooms. Their ideas are challenged – why do you need violence to get respect, in fact you are only creating fear. They are taught about equality and tolerance – gender or cast doesn’t define our skills or us. They are explained about child development and other very important things during the two-day training.

In the end of the training the teachers are asked for feedback and if they have learned something new. They all are very enthusiastic about the new ideas and say that they will use them in practice. They also hope for new trainings: they want to improve and be better teachers. And think how many children’s lives these trainings affect: on the public side, there can be more than 40 children per classroom and with around 30 teachers per training.. Well you do the math; you probably have been fortunate enough to get an education.